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Context

In Mushnik & Son, Mr. Mushnik realizes that Orin may convince Seymour to leave the flower shop, meaning that Mr. Mushnik would lose all of his fame and fortune, as well as Audrey II, so he convinces Seymour to be his son so that he will stay with the business.

Background

Howard Ashman worked on the lyrics for this song, a lot with the original lyrics being much shorter. Eventually, when Samuel French published the script, they had settled on the longer version. According Sarah Ashman (Howard Ashman's sister), this would be the version Ashman preferred.[1]

Lyrics

(1982 Off-Broadway Version)

Mr. Mushnik Seymour
(Spoken) Seymour?
(Spoken) Sir?
(Singing) How would you like to be my son?
How would you like to be my own adopted boy?
(I never liked him much before)
(But count the cash that's in the drawer)
(I've got no choice, I'm much too poor)
Say yes, Seymour I want to
What for?
Be your dad
I'll gladly treat you
Like my blood and my own flesh
(Singing) Like Ozzie Nelson, Dave and Rick?
Like Honey Fitz and take your pick
Then kiss me quick, I'll be your son
Don't make me sick just be my son
Mushnik and Son Mushnik and Son
Sounds great
Three words with the ring of fate
So say you'll incorporate with me
A florist's dream come true
Mushnik and his boychik, you
What business we'll do for F.T.D.
Like Andy Hardy and the Judge Like Andy Hardy and the Judge
Like Zeus and Mercury Like Zeus and Mercury
Like Dumas Fils and Pere Like Dumas Fils and Pere
In trouble, sickness, and in health
We'll share the plant and share the wealth
I'll call my lawyer
Call me son!
Mushnik and Son, that's that Mushnik and Son, that's that
Officially I'm your brat
Consider the matter closed and done Consider the matter closed and done
Now to the world, let's stick Now to the world, let's stick
Our senior and junior shtick Our senior and junior shtick
Through thin and through thick
Through sloppy and slick
Through kiss and through kick Through kiss and through kick
Mushnik and Son Mushnik and Son

(Updated Version from 2003 Broadway Revival)

Mr. Mushnik

Seymour

(Spoken) He'll think about it? He'll think about it?
(Spoken) I don't like that guy, Mr. Mushnik.
You should hear the way he talks to Audrey.
(Singing) Gott in himmel, no. The kid just said he'd mull it over!
No wonder she looks so unhealthy,
It's enough to make you sick!
If he left me, if Seymour left me,
Why then I'd be right back where I started which was
Broke and starving
Sweet and good and beautiful as she is,
She deserves a prince, not a sadistic creep like him!
Close to bankrupt
What a louse
Beset, befuddled, and bereft,
That's what I'd be if Seymour left!
He's a disgrace to the dental profession
(Spoken) Seymour!
Sir?
(Sweetly) Seymour..
(Singing) How would you like to be my son?
How would you like to be my own adopted boy?
(I never liked him much before,)
(But count the cash that's in the drawer,)
(I've got no choice, I'm much too poor,)
Say yes!
(Singing) What for?
Seymour I want to be your dad.
I want to see you climbing up my family tree
I used to think you left a stench
But now I see that you're a mench
So I'm proposing be my son!
Mushnik and Son!
Sounds great
Three words with the ring of fate
So say you'll incorporate with me
A florist's dream come true
Mushnik and his boychik, you
What business we'll do for F.T.D.
How bout' it, Seymour? Be my son!
Just say the word, I'll have my lawyer on the phone!
Now Mr. Mushnik, don't be rash.
You always said that I was trash.
Oh I was joking!
(Spoken) Sir I'm choking!
'Scuse the physical expression of my pride
Of the sweet paternal mishegoss
I've held pent up insi-
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ide!
Gee.
(Spoken) So?
Well.
Well?
I?
You!
(Singing) Go ahead and say it, Seymour. Tell me that you will
(Singing) Gee, I'd really like to, but...
I'll hold my breath until...(Takes a deep breath)
Okay you win I'll be your son!
Hooray, I win! He'll be my son!
Draw up the papers, dad
I'm touched, I really am.
And someday when you're eighty-three, I'll let you come move in with me.
You swear?
I promise!
What a son!
In trouble, sickness, and in health In trouble, sickness, and in health
We'll share the plant, share the wealth, We'll share the plant, share the wealth,
I'll call my lawyer
Call me son!
Son!
Son!
Mushnik and Son, that's that! Mushnik and Son, that's that!
Officially I'm your brat!
Consider the matter closed and done Consider the matter closed and done
Now to the world, let's stick. Now to the world, let's stick.
Our senior and junior shtick. Our senior and junior shtick.
Through thin and through thick Through thin and through thick
Through sloppy and slick Through sloppy and slick
So come kiss me quick!
Please don't make me sick
Mushnik and Son! Mushnik and Son!

References

  1. Mushnik & Son revisions http://howardashman.com/FeedMe/discussion/82/mushnik-and-son-revisions

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