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A Real Man is a song from the animated Little Shop episode Real Men Aren't Made of Quiche.

Lyrics

Paine Driller Bullies
If you wanna be a man,

Just listen and you'll see!

You gotta cause a lotta trouble.

Are you following me?

Gimme an A!

Yeah.
It's tough to say.
Yeah.
That's silly! Seymour,

You couldn't be more of a wimp!

Cuz men don't cry!

Cry.
They never clean!
Yeah.
We always lie!

We're always mean!

You gotta stay up late at night,

Ready for a fight,

And if you take Home Ec,

You'll never get respect!

Men don't cook!

No!
Can't read a book!
No!
We climb up trees!
Yeah!
We play with bees!
Yeah?
We don't make bread!
No!
You wienie-head!

I can hold my head up high,

I'm a tough guy!

It's so great to be a man,

You could never understand!

You're a weenie!

A hopeless wienie!

You're a wienie!

A hopeless wienie!

But I'm a man!
Yes, he is!
I'm a real man!
A man!
From the havoc that I wreak

Every day of every week,

It's true!

He's a real man!
Yes, I am!
He's a real man!
And you will never understand

Cuz you're a

Wienie!

Wienie, wienie, wienie!

Wienie!

Wienie, wienie, wienie!